Home | Charis Buckland

Laundry folded? Yes. Laundry put away…remind kids to put their piles away. EK needs to sweep so I can ideally mop the floor of the kitchen. I love walking barefoot on a clean kitchen floor. Did I remind them to pick up the toys in the play room? Oh, gotta do the usual weekly grocery order. Did I fill out the paperwork for Maddox’s well visit next week? Keep in mind, Deacon needs some new pajamas since his are a bit small. Oh wow, I look pale, need some blush so I can look presentable just for myself today… 

Welcome to a conversation in my head! Does anybody relate? Some days are soooo full! Even days full of of good stuff can leave me feeling like I have failed because I just couldn’t get it all done! I am a driven kinda girl…like, I make a list so I can cross stuff off that list. However, sometimes getting it all done just isn’t a reality. The lovely girl who cuts my hair thinks I am just super calm all the time and I get everything done and keep up with everyone’s schedule. Even if I appear chill on the outside, there are times I am freaking out on the inside! 

What can be done? How do we accomplish all we need to in a day? Is it praying more? Is it doing more? Sometimes I get up in the morning already feeling behind and defeated. God did NOT create us for that! With the counseling perspective, I often ask myself what I would tell my clients in my situation. 

We know that God created our entire being to work together. This includes our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health. We are to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37). In psychology and science (and anything in life), we filter all the research through the lens of Scripture to make sure it aligns with God’s Word. Science shows us that every aspect of our being is connected, so if someone is struggling spiritually, their physical health will be affected, or if someone’s emotional health is suffering, they may struggle spiritually. We can see this in real life and have probably experienced something similar ourselves. God created us this way. So how can we guard ourselves and really be able to love the Lord our God with our entire being and get it all done? How can we calm down and enjoy the life we are given?

Everyone’s lives look a little different. We all have different schedules and are in different stages. There are some ways to simplify and cut out the noise, though. No matter what pinterest shows or how someone looks on YouTube, nobody has it all together. In no way do I have it all together, even though my friend who cuts my hair thinks I do. I am, however, striving for better!

Get up and get going. I don’t love hearing the alarm go off, but I love getting up and feeling the stillness of the house. I am a much better person if I get a little time to get dressed, fix my hair, throw a little makeup on, and prepare for the day. This way I am completely ready and don’t feel the draw back to my room to finish my own hair or getting dressed later on. I know there are people who get up at 4 a.m. and get stuff done and that’s great. I would love to say I do the same, but in this season, it’s not possible for me. Since my kids have a range from eleven and down, there are older kids who go to bed later or have stuff going on later, so I don’t get to bed in time to get enough sleep to get up that early. Don’t let the 4 a.m. riser make you feel bad or even my schedule to make you feel bad. The importance is to get up, get going, and spend some time with God!

After getting up and at ’em, I finally helped Ella Kate finish a birthday pennant banner for summer birthdays!

Quiet Time. Never skip it! Even Jesus got up early to pray (Mark 1:35) and we also see how Jesus left crowds and spent time alone with God while He was on earth. When my fifth baby was born, it was possible to get up about 6 a.m., go downstairs in my robe, make green tea, and spend a solid half hour in Bible study at the kitchen table before little people waking up. This season for me is just not that! This may not be the season for you either. Some people have little children or work different hours and this is just not possible. I am right there with you! I read a shorter devotional for ladies called Journey. I can spend five minutes or if I have more quiet time, I can spend longer. Since I don’t know how long I might have, I reach for my book and Bible, pen and highlighter, and begin reading as soon as the alarm goes off. It’s a discipline. Not everyday is a moment where I hear the hallelujah chorus and see beams of light. It’s the quiet, slow, hidden consistency of everyday spent with God where the change happens – where we get to know Him better and we begin to become a little more like Him. Here is what is ready for me on my dresser every morning.

Simplify. Scale back on STUFF! Let kids pick one activity. Let people who invite you to activities know that you would love to participate, but right now is just not a good time to commit! Saying no can be done in a loving way without offending people. Shop for groceries once per week instead of picking up food here and there. With a simplified schedule, there are more moments to do special things that count. One special thing we do is write and mail thank you cards to everyone. We even use a stamp to mail happiness to neighbors because it’s special to receive real mail in the mailbox. Everyone likes to feel important! My girls like to make bracelets for friends. Even Deacon made a rubber band bracelet for his Sunday School teacher that he presented her last week. When life is simple, there is more time for memorable moments. Be bored and play in the yard. Don’t be deceived and think every moment must be scheduled for children either. Let them be bored and watch the creativity happen! 

Make a list. Yes, make a list. Do a little brain dump the night before or even first thing in the morning of all the little tasks to be done. Paper work, mail sorting, grocery ordering, whatever it is, big or small. Even include coffee if it’s your thing. It will help your physical body stay calm since you are not having to remember all the little details like paperwork to finish or meetings that need to happen. Some days it may be the middle of the afternoon and a list would just help to finish out the day because all of a sudden a slow day became a crazy day, girl, make that list. Here’s one I like!

Get Real. Make list! Yes! Know that not everything on that list will get accomplished. Cross off what you can and leave the rest for the next day to accomplish a bit more. Real life just has to be realistic. I have a tough time with this because I want to get everything done every day and it just isn’t possible. I have to allow God to be in charge instead of my task list. I must trust Him for the day instead of myself and my agenda. Yikes! That’s so hard!

Go to bed on time. I have a difficult time with this because I enjoy staying up to watch an episode of SWAT or a true crime show. It’s a quiet part of the day where I just sit and listen. I do nothing except maybe eat some cookies on the couch. Because everyone knows when kids go to bed, the good snacks come out! I also like to rise early so I can get myself together before others get up. I have to work on going to bed at a reasonable hour in order to get a full night’s rest. I must discipline myself to getting supper cleaned up, children to bed, and the house put to rest so I can enjoy a tv show before going to bed and still get plenty of rest.

I have spent many days running around like a chicken with my head cut off, rushing people (we all know you can’t rush a preschooler), watching people cry, feeling ragged myself, and it’s really to no end. Even if I “got it all done,” it was a terrible mess of chaos and wasn’t even worth it. God is not a God of disorder but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). Every day is actually a surrender to God. For my prayers, for my schedule, and for my mental health! “This is the confidence we have before Him: If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked of Him (1 John 5:14). He will help us as we simplify and give each day to Him. We can trust Him for the day to help us and give us what we need. 

In this with you,
Charis

Pic(k) of the day:

The sweets fairy must have flown in and nibbled on this package of cookies in the pantry…Nobody ever knows who did it…Anybody else have sweet treats fairies that sample stuff in the pantry?