Home | Charis Buckland

Do you remember 6th grade? Yeah, me too! I had six teeth pulled at the same time, leaving big gaps in my smile, greasy bangs, and felt super awkward! I don’t know anyone who would voluntarily repeat the sixth grade! 

I have one girl moving on from sixth grade and another one moving into sixth grade! It’s a rollercoaster for sure! Ever heard the statement, “comparison is the thief of joy?” It most definitely is!

It’s the middle of summer and I have plenty of fun summer memories. When I was in elementary school, the backyard slip and slide was the pinnacle of everyday! We have our own inflatable pool to refresh ourselves in the backyard currently.

Vacation Bible School was always a treat. We just finished our Vacation Bible School and I had so much fun rocking the babies! Everyone else had the opportunity to thrive in their own space and learn with their own friends. 

During high school summers, I hung out with my friends, tanned outside, played street hockey, and stared at teeny bopper magazines in the grocery stores. While I felt awkward in my braces, acne, and wavy hair, I desired so badly to look like those girls in the magazine photos. Clothes, shoes, hair, makeup – I tried it all. I still ended up looking like – me. I knew God created me uniquely and had a special plan for me (Psalm 139). It still didn’t stop the comparison game I played. 

In some ways, we play the comparison game no matter how old we are. In the gym, I wonder if I am as in shape as other ladies in the room. We judge the laugh lines around our mouths. We struggle with blemishes on our faces. We observe the clothes we wear in comparison to others. Should I have my nails done? Lash extensions?

Beyond the outward appearance, we question our worth when we compare college internships, careers, marriages, and the behavior of our kids. Whew! It’s tiring, isn’t it? Just this past Sunday, all the ladies in my Sunday school class acknowledged that girls are always going to be…girls. Mean girls never go away. What do we do with that? How do we handle comparison?

Ads and media show pictures of people who look a certain way, dress a certain way, and live in certain homes that look a certain way. I love decorating in white in my house, but it will never be quite as squeaky clean and neat as some I see on pinterest. Even though I know it’s not real and probably is a staged home, it doesn’t keep me from desiring that my house look that way.

Comparison will rob you of the joy of today and only results in discontentment. It also causes resentment in who God made us to be. 

Let each person examine his own work, and then he can take pride in himself alone, and not compare himself with someone else.
Galatians 6:4

A yoke is a device that ties something to whatever controls it. Let’s link to Christ and not to anything else that takes us away from Jesus. Do not be a slave to comparison. Refuse to let anything else control you. 

For freedom, Christ has set us free.
Galatians 5:1

In counseling, we practice changing negative thoughts a lot. Sometimes it takes practice changing our comparison thoughts to what is true and good and holy. It helps to find Bible verses that speak truth to whatever is controlling your mind and read those every time a negative thought enters your mind. Over time, you will begin to remember the truth instead of the comparison.

If the enemy can get into your head, it will control you. Stand strong and don’t let it work. Change those thoughts to God’s truth. And yes, it takes practice! Social media, tv, and movies will always be there to sway you and knock you off your game. Speak life to yourself with God’s Word. 

My acne may have disappeared and I have learned to tame my hair, but other insecurities lurk just around the corner and those insecurities have been replaced with others. It’s real life. Let’s move on from sixth grade and find real freedom in Jesus, Who forgives us of our sins and wants us to be more than slaves. 

One of my girls, who is moving on from sixth grade, had a birthday in June. I am ecstatic that dolls are still alive and well in our house and she received one for her birthday. I am also thrilled that my second daughter will be receiving a doll for her birthday this week. I want them to be who God created them to be. If they love dolls, then love dolls! As they get older, time for dolls might be more difficult to find, but the love for dolls can still exist. They don’t have to be a slave to what culture says is cool or uncool. 

Actually, I find it interesting that my girls’ friends act like they don’t play with dolls, but they actually still want to, and play with them when they are out at our house. I smile to myself because even with middle school girls painting nails, playing with makeup, and dancing around the room, their hearts still have a special place for dolls. I love it!

Let’s turn away from comparisons. It probably won’t be a one-time event. Sometimes it might require a refocus more than once a day! Let’s embrace the freedom we have in Jesus and be who He calls us to be.

Hugs,
Charis

Pic(k) of the day:

This is what happens when I say yes to, “May we play with the costumes in the closet?” Totally trashed!