Home | Charis Buckland

Hello friend! It’s the first time in quite a while. Yep, I went to the gym for a kickboxing class, and went to a coffee shop all by myself to write! Woohoo! I can tell it’s time for school to begin when people at home get restless and begin to argue a lot. It’s always exciting when new school books are delivered!

We spend most days outside. You know it’s been a good day running around when someone falls asleep on the couch before supper time!

We have wildlife come inside too! It freaks me out when it flies into my hair, though! She was safely let outside to fly home!

You know the day was good when it ends with a cat or falling asleep in a rocker!

Not everyone is going back to school, but the feeling of new beginnings is in the air this time of year. Some of us might be starting something new like a job or studying at a new school. Maybe trying a new extracurricular activity. Maybe even trying a new church. It can feel funny to meet new people and might even be drudgery. It’s so much easier to know people and feel comfortable in social situations. Nevertheless, we will find ourselves in situations where we will meet new people! And this can be a good thing!

The boys went to a men’s cookout at church and met new people.

We had girls night at home and had a picnic supper (with Maddox).

As a former student ministry wife, I met a lot of people in a lot of different places. I often found myself with people around at events and I wanted to make connections with students and their parents. I also wanted to get to know other people in all generations at churches. 

Does anyone hate the awkward situation of standing with someone and having nothing to say after “hello, my name is…?” I found myself looking for what to comfortably, and not awkwardly, say next to carry the conversation forward. This happens to all of us no matter how old or young we are! Kids in my counseling sessions have practiced the art of conversation as well as adults! 

It seems a fitting season to remember how to carry conversation and make new friends! School is starting up again for students and others in different seasons may be moving away from a familiar city and starting a new job. My middle sister is moving to a completely new city where she will sell her car and use public transportation for the first time! It’s a lot of “new” for her, but exciting at the same time. What about you? 

Smile. Super simple. It demonstrates a warm personality and someone who is safe to approach.

Say hello in passing. It also makes people want to say hello back and get to know that person.

Offer to help someone without being offended if they don’t receive it. Truth is, it’s not about us! We want to love people to show them Jesus, so even if someone chooses not to receive the offer to help, let it go, and try again. Some people feel uncomfortable with accepting help, so love them anyway.

Remember important events. If someone has mentioned a birthday, graduation, anniversary, or start of something new, ask about it. How great is it when someone remembers an event we mentioned? 

Ask others about themselves. I found conversation really easy when I realized that we all appreciate being asked about ourselves. People will open up about themselves! Prepare a few standard questions that apply to people in places you go. Ask them how long they have been going to the gym, if they are from the area, if they understood the homework last night.

Next time you see them, follow up with questions about the previous conversations. Ask them how their yard work is going, how their test went, how their sick grandma is doing. 

More importantly than appearing to be a friendly person and find new relationships, both of which are great, as believers, we want to connect with people and carry conversations for the name of Jesus. We love people to show them the love of God. There is no way we can love people without experiencing God’s great love for us. People are messy and people disappoint us. 

When we reach out to others and see beyond ourselves, to what others need, we are pointing them to Jesus. When we take the time to ask someone about whatever is going on in their life, it demonstrates compassion the way Jesus showed to people. Countless times in the New Testament when Jesus was on earth, He loved people. He ate with them, let the little children come to Him, healed people, sat with people who cried, and took the time for people. 

In Mark 10:13-16, we read about Jesus letting the parents bring their children to see Him. His disciples thought He was too busy for them but Jesus corrected them. He allowed the people to approach Him and took time for the families 

Difficult to find time? You know it! I get it! I have eight kids and will homeschool five this year! God calls us to it. Share your table for a meal. Involve your roomies or your children. Have them help plan a meal or set the table. Teach them the art of conversation and to love and serve.

In this fast-paced world, where it is easy to self-focus, it makes a difference for someone to take the time to have a real life, in person conversation with someone. Be that person! Make a difference! 

Love,
Charis

Pic(k) of the week:

When I got everything ready for camp checked off the list and I find that someone has poured out all the travel shampoo out of the bottle…I was able to salvage the conditioner. I can’t say the same for the shampoo…