Home | Charis Buckland

It’s a new year, new you, so they say! It IS a new year! Activities start back, jobs return to normal schedules, and the slower, quieter days of winter holidays are put on hold until next year. We’ve had fun goofing off too! Here’s Linley doing the Sugar Plum Fairy and Cavalier pas de deux with Izzy Grace!

Thankfully, cozy winter days are still present, and even though our Christmas decorations were taken down, we still enjoy the flocked pencil trees located in each room that add a little glow to home on dreary days. The pine wreaths are still hanging up and the miniature pine trees still greet visitors on the front porch. 

This is NOT a new year, new you post. It just happens that January is when I have evaluated some tricky areas of home life, including school, and we are adjusting accordingly. Seasons change, schedules shift, naps times move, and homeschool students need more time as the grow! Life changes and I have noticed some rough areas we can most definitely improve. 

It’s probably easier for me to list what we are adding and what we are getting rid of. I like for stuff to be applicable to people of all ages in different places in life, so many of these will apply to my younger friends and older friends, with kids, and without kids as well!

WHAT WE ARE ADDING:

Daily Structure: This is helpful for anybody anywhere! It is helpful to use a computer sheet or I use colored pens on paper, to create blocks for each day of the week. I could do this as a college student and add in classes, church activities, and my cheerleading practices and track practices. Then I could see available time, and where its practical to add anything else.  

After blocking the days, I write the predictable rhythms that we want to include and a general outline for a routine. Nobody has ballet class in the mornings, so even though I was a little sad because it was such a sweet time with the littles, it helps keep our school day on track, even for the preschoolers that are not in school. Nap time happens at the same time each day (for now until he decides to get bigger and drop that morning nap), so we find this quiet time is a great time for my K5 student and 2nd grader to read to me. 

Expectations: 

Over Christmas break, I made a short easy-to-read list of expectations for everyone regarding school. For example, school is to start anytime after waking up, but for sure by 8 a.m. This way everyone is set up for success because we all are aware of what is expected. 

When my kindergartner moved from preschool to children’s ministry and began Sunday School in the fall, he received a list of expectations for his class. I thought it was formal, but it has been a great tool to help him succeed! He knows exactly what he should and should not do so he can have a great time in class! 

Definition of what “finished” for the homeschool day means:

Our curriculum has a dashboard on their laptops, which shows a check mark when each subject is completed. This works great, but I haven’t been doing a great job at checking it each day at a certain time. Since we complete most schoolwork between 8 a.m. and noon, we all agreed I will check their dashboards at lunchtime. 

Clearly, there are doctor appointments or other activities that come up, which might throw that off, but generally speaking, this can be a system we all depend on.

Some families don’t have a dashboard on a computer because they don’t use computers. No problem! I have printed off colorful checklists and stuffed them into a page protector, so kids can use a dry erase marker to check off the list. We can just wipe it clean with our hands for the next use!

Consistency: 

This year, all kids old enough for extracurricular activities have classes in the late afternoons and early evenings. 

We have lightened the ballet class load this year, so ballet, which we all love and is important, happens three days a week for all four girls. The goal is to have supper together as many nights as possible. Research shows that students who eat with their families have higher grades than those students who don’t. Obviously, the more suppers together per week corresponds with higher grades. 

We start school at the same time each day, Monday through Friday. Friday afternoon feel fantastic after having worked hard all week! 

We eat lunch at the same time each day, within reason.It may sound boring, but these particular rhythms keep us on track and give a sense of security for us all.

WHAT WE ARE GETTING RID OF:

Guilt about not enough fun: 

A flexible schedule and “slow mornings” are marketed as best and as “the” homeschool goal. Actually, this absolute flexibility leads to burnout, frustration, and feeling chaotic. 

Of course, it’s easier to be more flexible with fewer students and with older students. 

Naturally, there are slower mornings because there is no commute, except to their special school space. For us, it’s from upstairs bedrooms to downstairs school desks. 

Flexibility can work, but too much can lead to Fridays where lessons from science haven’t been done, it’s 5 p.m. and nobody is feeling school, but a spelling test has to be crammed in somewhere and everybody gets grouchy, and blah blah blah…This is no place to be! 

As a counselor and just a human, I know that consistency and rhythm work every time!

This has made me a more fun mom since the decision fatigue isn’t there. We commit to a school day, with fewer changes interrupting the morning schoolwork time, which leads to cramming schoolwork in later in the day when none of us are fresh or simply letting work go undone. This is no way to live! Nobody wants to just survive, they want to thrive!

We do make exceptions, for example, once a month, church has preschool play days, so we plan for those and the older ones take school so they little ones can have an hour prepared just for them! 

Fear about not letting children make enough choices. 

Despite my counseling background, we are pelted with the information that children should lead and do what they feel, so I have questioned whether I let them choose enough stuff.

Parents were created by God to lead their children. We are accountable to God for teaching children well. We will stand before God and answer for what we did and did not do. When we think about it this way, it’s much easier to lead well, even when children complain about having to do stuff they don’t want to do. Like everyone else, I prefer happy, smiley children over pouty children, but it is my job to teach them to work hard in order to one day be self-led. I lead them now and watch them succeed and grow gradually into self-led adults.

Also, children can develop anxiety, whether they express it or not, when they feel responsible for their education or just their schedules in general. I have at least one child who loves to tell me what she feels she should be doing and how she should be doing it. Despite her desire to do it her way, it is still better for her to be heard, yet still submit to parental leadership as the final say. 

Letting undone work slide:

Nope! Not gonna happen! I have been lax sometimes in making sure schoolwork is finished for the day, so no more! They know I will be checking their dashboards for checkmarks beside each subject at lunchtime. If students don’t use computers, a printed sheet can be made, put into a page protector, and be checked off each day with a dry erase marker. This is great to Create accountability, and clear expectations lead to success!

Reminding people of responsibilities all day long:

This might apply to chores, school work, and beyond. If I have to keep reminding people to do a task or ask them if they have completed them, I might as well do it myself. Based in developmental level and personal ability, everyone knows what tasks they need to accomplish each day. Sweeping after supper is up to Ella Kate, vacuuming the living room is Jenna’s task, and so on. Some days will be different, like when EK has ballet after supper, someone else will fill in there, but for the most part, it’s part of the routine. 

How do I accomplish getting them to become responsible without being hounded and reminded? It’s a work in progress for sure! 

Despite tears, I must follow up, and hold them responsible. After a while, there will be no tears, they will just go with the routine and complete the work. I love them, so much I want to shape them into responsible, dependable adults. 

If kids are allowed to ignore responsibilities because “mom will do it later” or if she doesn’t, “oh well, I’ll ignore the mess,” they become husbands or wives who don’t see needs because someone else will do it. I want them to become reliable friends or roommates who contribute in their relationships. I want my boys to be husbands who serve their wives and sweep the crumbs off floor when necessary. I want the girls to serve their husbands well by keeping up with a little extra laundry here and there when needed. 

Their future relationships can suffer, their friendships won’t be as close, and they might be looked at as irresponsible in jobs unless they can learn to choose responsibility. 

What CAN happen is they build an excellent reputation for dependability, reliability, and become known as people who keep their word. This sets them up for success. Success also feels like sitting in a life-size Minnie Mouse’s lap on Christmas Day!

Sometimes we also might need to shine up our dependability skills as adults. When we say it, let us become women of our word. If we say we will be there, let’s be there. 

As I have talked consistency, we also take breaks and have fun days as well. A privilege of working hard every other day, is taking birthdays out of school to just celebrate that person! This past week was Krew’s birthday! I think it would be tragic to do schoolwork on a birthday, so we don’t!

To make sure each person feels special, I take them to the Dollar Tree to pick out a balloon. This year, due to several requests, I also take them with their birthday girl or birthday boy sash or pin, to Starbucks for their “once a year” special drink! He loved his Frappuccino. When asked what he wanted to eat for his birthday, he answered with peanut butter and jelly! We ended up with pizza for the win! SO fun! 

Happy January you all!

Love,
Charis

pic(k) of the week:
Relatable? Brett left a coffee in the van while I was at my gym class one day. What a special day. I ran home, took a quick shower, and couldn’t wait to sip the yummy mocha drink. I stepped into the laundry room, grabbed a few items to put away, grabbed the cup, and this is what happened. I watched in slow motion as the drink slipped out of my hand, and the lid popped off. It went ALL under the washing machine and I didn’t even get one sip. One of those days…