Home | Charis Buckland

It’s pink and red and hearts everywhere time of year! We have been putting the hearts up at home! I love to put pink lights up the staircase banister too! It helps brighten up the darker days of winter!

We celebrated Deacon’s birthday before the snow hit!

He even was made a personalized birthday banner to hang in the kitchen!

Speaking of winter, with the snow that was here last week, we had no church service, so we did home church. It’s always a challenge to hear the sermon, so we did the best we could!

The snow may have kept us from the ballet studio, but we were still dancing around here! Full out Nutcracker, complete with costumes, fast changes, and props! A random police officer even appeared in a scene!

We did continue with school, even though our county was out, but no complaints here to speak of.

“Follow your heart,” they say. “Trust your gut,” people implore. We hear it everywhere, especial this Valentine’s Day time of year. It’s written on cards, clothing, and in the movies. I love a good made-for-tv rom-com! They’re happy and we all know they will have a great ending. What they miss is that the “follow your heart” logic isn’t actually a good idea.

Who doesn’t love a fairy tale? At home, we LOVE the classic princess movies. In fact, each of us has our own princess we claim! For example, Jenna claims Aurora because of her blonde hair. If we can’t find Aurora, we will do Rapunzel because…the hair of course! LOL Raegan’s big, round blue eyes remind me of Ariel.

Anyway, the songs, the beautiful dresses, the friendly animals, the handsome, brave man…it’s all so wonderful! In these stories, we are forgetting that, in fact, we are all pretty flawed people! 

Thankfully, our loving heavenly Father warns us in Jeremiah 17:9 that, “the heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable. Who can understand it?” Oh wow! As convicting as that is, it’s evident! 

“Following your heart” often leads to rushed decisions and regret because our heart feelings are volatile and fleeting. “Following your heart” has taken people away from rational thinking to affairs. Our hearts are actually a bit crazy. There is a phenomenon known as “self-serving bias,” in which people basically believe themselves to be more moral than those around them. This totally lines up with Scripture, since Proverbs 21:2 says, “every way of a man is right in his own eyes.” We actually should not follow our hearts, but realize the need to be saved from our own hearts. We are in desperate need of a Savior.

God has shown us the real definition of love! “But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Your heavenly Father laid His life down for you so that you can have eternal life with Him. He is the definition of absolutely perfect love. 

Although, every man is flowed too, the man that captures your heart should demonstrate the characteristics of God. Flip to 1 Corinthians 13 for a complete description of love, which includes patience, kindness, and selflessness. 

To the ladies out there, I want to share some words of wisdom that have helped me in my life: 

Don’t date just to date. It’s a waste of time and it is needless wear and tear on the emotions. 

If he doesn’t want to spend time with your family and get to know them beyond chatting with them because they have to, he’s not worth it. 

If he encourages you to choose God first, even when it takes time away from him, it’s a good thing. 

If he helps you make the right choice, even when it’s the more difficult choice, he has potential. 

Boyfriends don’t get husband privileges. Don’t treat your boyfriend like your fiancé or your fiancé like your husband.

In our house, no boys will ever be allowed upstairs in bedrooms. You are worth working for. It’s probably not a popular opinion, but serious high school dating is usually not worth it. I see clients in my counseling office who grow so much between high school and into college. I want my girls to get to know boys and hang out with them while they are young. They can learn to treat boys with respect and kindness and guard their hearts as much as boys should guard theirs. Those boys are other moms’ baby boys. Boys can be hurt and girls can learn to see them as children of God and learn how to treat them with kindness and respect. 

God doesn’t do casual relationships. I hear a lot about “situationships” out there, which is basically a relationship that is undefined or uncommitted. Some people may do situationships to avoid heartbreak, but these will actually take you right to a broken heart. God gave us the desire for marriage. A man of God will not play house with your heart. Don’t allow it. Don’t invest in your time in someone who cannot support you spiritually. God desires that we follow Him and choose stability – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you. He will take care of your body and your heart. Yes, human man will make mistakes and he will never be perfect. Forgiveness will be a necessary part of life both ways! The point is that he should be following God closely and doing his very best to become like Jesus in every area of his life, including how he loves and treats you.

When you are focusing on God’s plan for you and striving for Him, the man who is also focusing on God’s plan for His life, can run along beside you as you both follow God together. You will run alongside each other as you follow God and His path for you both as indiviudals. Think of it as a triangle, with a man and woman on the bottom points and God at the top point. As each grows closer to God at the top, they naturally grow closer together as well. God is holy, therefore He is trustworthy. Trust Him for the man for you.

When I was 12, I began reading The Christy Miller series. At the beginning of the series, Christy, the main character, is 12. It shares her story as she grows up to the college years and the married years. I still have verses highlighted in my Bible marked with “Christy Miller.” They changed my world. Christy begins to write letters to her future husband and I loved the idea.

I did the same. I wrote notes to someone I didn’t know from when I was about thirteen. It was funny writing letters to someone with no name yet! I was able to give all my letters and notes I had written as a little girl into adulthood, as a wedding gift. I had been praying for him all along. Wait for a good one. Wait for a hero – not a perfect man, but one who loves God even more than He loves you. It will allow him to love you the best he can. Happy Valentine’s Day! *HUGS*

Love,
Charis

Pic(k) of the week: When someone decides to warm up the van and the van somehow gets locked with the key inside…and Dad’s working at church a good 30 minutes away… Youtube videos didn’t help me. Yes, he had to drive all the way home to unlock it, to drive all the way back. You just can’t make this stuff up!